i might be emotional idk

i guess now i can look back on the year and what ive learned.

its been hard.

trying to find yourself and understand why things happen the way they do.

trying to understand why he doesnt love you when all you wanted was to love him and be what he wanted.

trying to keep it together so people dont know you're struggling.

thats hard.

ive always struggled with insecurity issues. ive always been looked at differently. im trying my best to look at the good from 2016 and life but im crying as i type this. im tired of trying so hard for people who dont appreciate me. im tired of going out of my way to make others happy when all they do is drag me and my heart through the mud. every time i believe in someone to do me right they always let me down. i always see the good in people and i just want someone to accept me and my flaws for once. im tired of not being good enough, always being compared to other girls.

usually i just shrug my shoulders and walk away, "oh well." but its been building and now its all hitting me. i cry at the drop of a hat because i am so tired of always being the one hurt in the end. im tired of the one to have to pick up the pieces. but does that mean im going to be bitter and go out and hurt someone else because someone hurt me? nope. im trying my hardest to be strong and move through everything but its not easy. especially people turn out to be just like everyone else, they turn out to be everything they said they weren't. i guess i was a fool to think someone has the same heart as me. i dont want to bottle up my feelings anymore. sometimes i think its easier to not have feelings, but thats just not me.. i wear my heart on my sleeve, i accept everyone for who they are, flaws and all.

afterall, your flaws are what make you different. every rose has its thorn. everyone has things they struggle with. im just waiting for someone who will love me and my flaws.

Love

Love is such a vast topic.

In my experience with relationships, I've learned the biggest thing is to give all of yourself. Your mind, body, soul, etc. Don't hold back from them. Some ask, "how do we know we're not wasting our time?" answer is you don't. You have no idea how it's going to go until you take the chance.

"Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and hope they don't."

There is also a reason your past is your past. It's over with. The biggest mistake you could ever make is passing up an opportunity for real love because you're too afraid to be committed, or trust, or be vulnerable or talk to someone new. If you like them, and they make you smile, just go for it. You never know, they could end up being the love of your life. Would you want to pass that up because you were hurt from somebody who obviously did not treat you right?

Don't be stingy with your love. Don't play games. If you like them, be honest about it. If you don't be honest about it too. One thing this generation lacks is honesty. Everyone is afraid to hurt someone's feelings so they lie. Which only comes back to hurt more because they didn't have enough respect for you to be honest. No matter how much you think it will hurt them, you have to be honest. They will appreciate your honesty about a hard topic.

The reason relationships don't work out is because the girl forgets that she's not the only person. You are a partnership, he deserves the same love, attention, affection, that you do. You would be surprised at how a man treats a woman when he feels loved and adored too. Regardless if they want to admit it. Women are the most loving selfless beings on this planet. A real woman would never give up on you and will always have your back. But men fail to realize they also need to have their womans back. Its 50/50. You are supposed to grow together and bring out the best in each other.

Trust is something everyone struggles with at one point or so in life. You are always suspicious of what they're doing online blah blah blah. Let me tell you something and you better remember it for the rest of your life; the only way they find someone better is if they are looking. If they are truly in love with you, truly want you and only you, they will never do anything to put your relationship at risk. If they "find someone better" you walk away. You walk away because there are plenty of other people in the world waiting for their "person."

"Once you know your worth, they have no power over you. They can't tell you anything. You know ultimately what you deserve."

Don't make excuses for their actions. We need to stop blaming ourselves for what others do to us. The truth is we can't control what others do. Not everyone has the same heart as you. You can't make them love you and you also can't make them care as much as you do. Don't be afraid to walk away and don't hope for things that will never come.

If you believe they are worth it, take a chance and give them everything you can. Not materialistic things. Give them your time, love, heart, etc. The right person will give it right back. You know you have the right person because regardless of what you do, you still have the best time together. Enjoy their presence. This gender neutral because the whole "men suck" or "women cheat more" is in accurate. Your gender has nothing to do with it.

Don't let your past determine what your future has for you. Everyone deserves love. Be faithful. Love hard and spoil them too. Even if you surprise them at work just because you miss them, the small things make people happy.

to the coward

you weren't looking for somebody, they just kind of appeared in your life. they made you smile and laugh, and for a split second you were genuinely happy. as time progressed and you got to know each other, one thing seemed apparent. the person you liked was quick to have eyes for someone else. they'd take longer to respond to your texts, to not even responding, and slowly pull away. you panic thinking you are losing something good, so you grab on.

but don't. don't grab on. don't keep people in your life like that. ever.

they slowly pull away from you because they hope you won't notice, but they became a sliver of your happiness so obviously you'd notice. sure, you may have smiled a little more and your eyes had a certain glime to them, but that wasn't love.

you wonder what you did wrong and maybe blame yourself. You wonder what you did to not be good enough for them. was it your hair? your stomach wasn't toned enough? your butt was not big enough? stop this now.

the thing we need to understand about the human mind and emotions is sometimes feelings are inevitable. sometimes they just don't feel the same connection. you can't make someone love you.

the part that hurts the most is the distance, you can feel it. they pretend nothing is wrong and deny the fact they are pulling away. don't be fooled. that's what cowards do. they can't face the fact they hurt someone so they pretend nothing is wrong until they finally pull away for good.

like I said, feelings are inevitable. if someone leaves you, let them. don't waste away your life being upset because someone didn't care for you the way you cared for them. don't cry and blame yourself. and under no circumstance should you undervalue your self worth just because someone did not see it. you aren't in control of someone else's feelings. yes it hurts. but as time goes on, every morning you wake up and it gets a little easier. the thought of the person that broke you becomes a distant memory. remember, people become distant. and so will the hurt you feel.

2016 SPRING/SUMMER CLOTHING TRENDS

Helloooo my loves. So around fall time I did a look book for fall trends and y'all really seemed to like it! So I am doing another one for spring/summer.

Adidas are becoming more and more popular because of their simple look and how they go with everything. 

Denim looking tops are called Chambray, they are made from a different material than denim which is why they have a different name. We have seen a spike in popularity since fall of 2015, and we don't see them going away any time soon. 

I don't even know where to start with this look. Its definitely Spanish influenced, the long skirt creates a smaller waist thus a slimmer figure. The yellow color is bright and complimenting to all skin colors.

Crop tops have always been in style, how ever we've seen them shift more to the v cut with a thin strap. 

Even though its warm in the spring and summer, but for those chilly date nights this is a great comfy option. Its still cute and feminine but its also comfy. 

I don't know about you, but the color peach is such a stunning color! It looks great on all skin colors and it is pretty popular in home decor as well.

2016 has one common theme, comfortable and effortless. T-shirt dresses show off your curves and body shape, and of course they are comfortable.  

Long cardigans are making their way too. You can wear shorts and a crop top and then if you get cold you can throw over a cute long cardigan. Or if you are self conscious about your buttocks, this covers it. (:

Asymmetrical and ruched skirts are fitting and give your body that curve if you don't have one:)

Lace is incredibly pretty and something everyone can wear and completely rock. 

Two pieces are also equally slimming and figure flattering.

Rompers have faded out, and now two piece shorts are in. 

Thank you all so much for reading I have worked so hard on this post and finding the right outfits to show you. 

Don't forget to follow me on all my social media to keep up with me. 

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TARTELETTE IN BLOOM PALETTE REVEIW

Well hello everyone! As you can tell by the title, this is going to be my personal review on the Tartelette in Bloom Palette. I did do a tutorial using this palette and the link will be down below. First impressions without a primer is the shadows dont last. I applied my eye primer with a brush and the shadows lasted and looked gorgeous! I love nuetrals and this palette is perfect for that. it has base shadows and a maroon shade. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MAROON. The shimmer shades are alright. The shadows blend well and the pigment is stellar. I was a little nervous at first because it they are clay shadows and I did not think they would blend easily but they do and I am very happy!

Tartelette in Bloom tutorial:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rH7PKrfoVe8&feature=youtu.be

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ORIGINS CLEAR IMPROVEMENT MUD MASK FIRST IMPRESSION

I'm going to keep this short and sweet, you need this product. Even if you don't have large clogged pores it still deep cleans. It doesnt really have a smell. I layered it on after I showered and cleaned my face. It takes about 10-20 minutes to dry depending on how wet your face is. It is $17 for the travel size, and $25 for the large size. Personally, I can see spending money on skin care. You really have to take care of your skin. If you dont take care of your skin, your make up wont look right so why waste the make up? I will say if you have dry skin you might want to get the Glamglow hydrating mask. After I exfoliate with this clay mask I use the glamglow after. Its working out great right now!

Tartelette in Bloom tutorial:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rH7PKrfoVe8&feature=youtu.be
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SEPHORA/ULTA/BEAUTY BRANDS HAUL

Hi everyone! I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving and ate lots of food and enjoyed visiting with family. So, its going to be December soon and I thought doing a haul for winter time products would be beneficiary. I will be doing first impression posts about each product I try.
STARTING WITH SEPHORA:
***Some items are refills of my favorite products***
If you have watched my YouTube videos, you would know my favorite foundation primer is the Smashbox Photo Finish. I have used my foundations without a primer and I could go either way. I do think my foundation sits nicer on my skin, though.
If you have kept up with my blog, you would know my skin type is extremely dry. In the winter time, I develope wind burns on my cheeks. I mosiurize like a crazy woman and nothing soothes the pain. I picked up the Glamglow Thirstymud hydrating treatment. I have been looking at getting this product and finally bit the bullet. The truth is you only get one shot at taking care of your skin so take good care of it and you wont be 50 going on 80.
Next, was really an impulse buy, I have done the same thing with my brows for two years and I am comfortable with it but I need to branch out and try new products. I picked up the Anastasia Dip Brow Pomade in soft brown.
NOW ULTA:
Majority of these are gifts for my little sister for christmas and I would not buy them if I didn't think they werent amazing products. My sister has a love for make up and has quickly become very talented at it. Each year I bump up the level of make up I buy her, each year the brands get better and better.
Ulta was having a buy one get one 50% off on their Real Techniques brushes and I got her the Eye/ Enhanced Starter Set, and the Expert Face Brush (my personal favorite for appyling bb creams). Then from there I got her the Tarte Poppry Picnic Palette, picking a palette was tough. I didnt want to buy her anything with crazy colors or extremely dark colors and this is pretty natural looking. 
OK so this was a total impulse buy. The Tartelette in bloom palette LITERALLY just came out and I took one good look at it and grabbed it. I am picky about palettes for myself because some shades I wont use and then I kick myself because I spent $50 to use 3 shades. But this palette is so nuetral and I know I can use all shades in them because they are so versitile. 
LASTLY BEAUTY BRANDS:
So Beauty Brands is another store like Sephora. If Ulta and Sephora had a baby it is Beauty Brands. BB has Smashbox, Too Faced, etc. They dont have drugstore make up but they do have luxury skin care/ both ends for hair care. 
I have been using the its a 10 leave in conditioner for a long time so I picked up another one of those. 
I cant seem to find Moroocan Oil products anywhere besides Beauty Brands. I use their Curl Defining Cream and it is AMAZING for curly hair. It tames the frizz. Only issue is its a little hard to wash out of your hair. 
Last thing I bought was the Origins Clear Improvement Mud Mask. 

Thank you for reading! Stay Tuned for First Impressions on these products! xoxo.
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